So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
