How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
