i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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