When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Two words: blizzard sex
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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