I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i love accidental penises.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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