He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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