Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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