Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
