addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
