and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
