Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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