singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
is it fun? or sober?
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