Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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