3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wear drunk well.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
