I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
