your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
