I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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