Where is the hickey?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
be right there i have to get my cape
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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