Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
