grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
