Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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