And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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