so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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