oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
