no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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