We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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