its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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