I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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