I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am midnight drunk by noon
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
