"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
