I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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