Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
