the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
