During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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