we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize