Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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