Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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