Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Welp...herpes.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
