i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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