We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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