that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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