i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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