And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
