One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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