I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
