"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
