did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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