Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
