i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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