Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
