so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
