so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
