You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
