There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
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I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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