just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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