Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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