you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
40s are totally the cure
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize