how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
tell your sister to shave her snatch
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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