She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
