do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
