I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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