Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
