you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
