Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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