you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
