i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
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My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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