i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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